


Everything Stays

by Enna_Spooky_Trash



Series: The F.O.S Code (one shots) [2]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben and Tony are briefly mentioned, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, ITS CANON-COMPLIANT SAD, May and Peter reunite after the blip, One Shot, POV May Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Pre-Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie), Protective May Parker (Spider-Man), Worried May Parker (Spider-Man), a missing moment, between End Game and Far From Home, but Peter is still reeling from Tony's death so, but i tried, essentially it's like, i mean kinda, its sad but like, not exactly timeline accurate, technically speaking the ocs are canon background characters I just gave them names, the aftermath right after the battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25459498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enna_Spooky_Trash/pseuds/Enna_Spooky_Trash
Summary: When May Parker goes back to existence, the first thing she feels is fear. It is somehow 2023, and a terrible battle is taking place in Upstate New York. Her dread only deepens when she finds out that Peter, who had left for his MOMA field trip five years ago, is now seen in the middle of the fight as Spider-man.ORMay reunites with a broken and grieving Peter after the Blip. One shot. (I accept requests!)
Relationships: Ben Parker & May Parker (Spider-Man), May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker
Series: The F.O.S Code (one shots) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834165
Comments: 10
Kudos: 70





	Everything Stays

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It's Enna! After the amazing responses (seriously thank you!) that I got in my last fic, I decided to create a series of one shots entitled the F.O.S (Friends of Spider-man) Code. Essentially it'll be about Peter's closest loved ones just panicking at his very poor life choices. I have general ideas as to where this series might go, but I accept requests too! More of that in the end notes!
> 
> Anyway, I've always loved May and Peter's dynamic, so this is like a missing moment for the two of them, between the final battle and Tony's funeral. This is also technically an outsider's perspective to End Game's finale. Leave some kudos/comments if you enjoyed the fic! I always love reading those! <3

When May Parker goes back to existence, the first thing she feels is fear.

She gasps when her senses return, feeling as though she has been doused in icy water. All of a sudden she is acutely aware of her surroundings, and she turns around wildly, trying to register the strange yet familiar sitting room. Taking in the weird decor and the out-of-place furnitures that she is _sure_ she has never seen before.

Wasn't she... Wasn't this her _apartment?_

May is sure it is. The wallpaper is the same dull beige that desperately needs repainting, althugh if she looked closer most of the paint has already chipped away. She could place every window, locate every door that has ever existed in the unit. This is _her_ apartment. The exact same apartment that she and Ben had chosen right after they moved to Queens. _She lives here._

Except...did she? All her bookcases are gone, and the plants that she has taken care of so diligently are lost without a trace. She had never owned an Ottoman before, and yet here it is, just a few inches to her right, close to a niche that is adorned with an intricately ornate vase. _That's_ something she could never afford, for sure. Everything almost feels like a weird and vivid dream, and she has yet to awaken from it.

_What the hell just happened?_

She tries to think back, tries to dig into her memories for some kind clue, and is surprised that they came almost easily to her.

_She was at home, yes... she had a day off. But she was... Working on something... Papers. And then... Someone called... It was Ned. Ned Leeds. He tells her about the field trip... Tells her about... About..._

"Peter!" she cries out loud, and the dam breaks as everything comes rushing back, wave upon wave of memory crashing into each other. Ned had called her, and she remembers how frazzled his voice sounded, because Peter has ditched their field trip to help Tony Stark as Spider-man, and he hasn't returned since. May also remembers calling different police stations, trying to look for her nephew, because Peter is _gone_ , Peter _left_ to save the world, and she is frightened because he might be _hurt_ , or he might be injured or _shot_ and--

Tears begin to gather at the corner of her eyes, but she refuses to let them fall.

She has to find Peter.

She starts searching for her phone, going on all fours to look under the table and the couches. She is about to reach under the Ottoman when someone screams.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

There is a woman by the front door's threshold, and she is staring at May with a mixture of fear and outrage.

"Why are you in my apartment?!" she demands. The woman's eyes widen, and she spits maliciously. "Are you Jason's _mistress_?!"

Okay, this is getting out of hand, because technically speaking this is _May's_ property, and besides not knowing who on earth Jason is, she also won't let someone else take all the hard work she and Ben had done for this place.

"This is _my_ apartment," May snarls. "And I am no one's mistress. I've lived in this place for ten years, and if you don't leave right now, I _will_ call the cops. You are breaking and entering."

"Ten years? Who do you think you are?!" The woman stomps inside and flings her keys onto the living room table, now face to face with May. "I've been living here since 2018!"

"It _is_ 2018!"

"What are you _talking about_?" The woman says. The anger has faded, replaced by a look of bewilderment. "It's the year 2023!"

It is like all the breath has been knocked out of her body.

"2023?" May croaks. "I-It's been _five years?!_ B-but I haven't... It was j-just a moment--"

Without any warning the floor begins to shake, and May yelps as she is thrown sidewards, falling to the carpeted floor. As quick as it began the shaking stops. May regains her footing and stands up, now wary. Something very, _very_ weird is going on.

"You know what, I don't have time for this!" the woman says impatiently. She dashes past May, straight into a room --Peter's room, May realizes with a jolt.

"Mama!" the woman calls, twisting the knob and letting herself in. "Mama come on, they're evacuating the city!"

An old, frail voice responds, and it is only in that moment did the stranger's words truly sinks in. That it wasn't 2018. It's been five years. This... this isn't her home anymore. And there will be no strewn lego pieces or chemistry books or tech scraps on the other side of that door. There is only this woman, and that old lady.

She had to hold on to the vase to steady herself. She didn't want to keel over again.

Peter is _gone_.

"See, Anita! I told you I was right about the ghost!"

May wheels around to see the woman (Anita, she guesses) guiding an old woman towards the exit. The old woman smiles brightly at May. "I knew you'd show up! Look Anita, that's the ghost I told you about!"

"Mama, that is not a ghost," Anita says. She glares at May. "Maybe just a homewrecker, though."

"I AM NOT A HOMEWRECKER!" May screams hysterically. She stumbles towards the duo and grips hard on Anita's hands. "Please, please help me. My name's May Parker and I have no idea what is happening and I lost my nephew and he is the only one that I _have... Please, please_ I have to... I n-need to..."

She feels the burning sensation in her throat, but she ignores it. _Keep it together,_ she tells herself sternly.

Anita sighs. "Okay lady, listen. I don't know how to help you, but right now we're evacuating New York. There's an alien ship above us at this moment. The Avengers are involved, but we are asked to leave immediately."

"B-But... m-my nephew--"

" _Everyone_ has been asked to evacuate. Where we are going will be the safest place for now, so there's a great chance that he will be there."

They are by the door when they turn and find May still rooted to the spot.

"I don't know how to get there," she whispers. She sees Anita hesitate, before the woman's face hardens with resolve.

"Come on. You could come with us."

May stares, then nods, hurrying towards the couple to assist the old woman. They went down the stairs, and out the building. It almost seemed like night time when they stepped out, although she has no way of knowing for sure. May sees people running away, hears the screams and fire alarms and chaos in the distance. She raises her eyes upward, and she sways, almost falling for a second time since this entire mess has started.

Anita looks at the huge alien ship that's been blocking the sunlight, at the clouds of dust and smog in the atmosphere that does nothing to hide the flashes and bangs of a raging battle over the horizon. She smiles wryly at May. 

"Yeah, it's been a weird day for everybody."

* * *

It's the waiting May hated the most.

She has done it plenty of times before, of course, but she has never enjoyed any _second_ of it. Bad things happen whenever May waits.

May waited once: she waited for a phone call from her sister-in-law, who had gone off with her family to the Stark Expo. She did receive the call a few hours later, only for her to be told that Ben's brother and wife had been killed during an attack, but that their kid survived. And although she'll never begrudge the time Peter came to her life, she will _never_ forget Ben's numb expression, or Peter's tear-stained face, when they went ahead to pick him up.

May waited again: Peter had stormed out in an argument with Ben, and Ben had tried to follow him, tried to bring him home. The next thing she knew she is at a hospital's morgue, Peter in her arms, and he is sobbing because _May, Ben is d-dead, Ben is d-dead. He was shot and it's a-all my fault._ And she hugged him even tighter, because it wasn't Peter's fault. And she told him that, needed him to know that, and it was at that moment she told herself that she will protect her kid, _her boy_ , no matter the cost.

But now Peter is nowhere to be found, and she is waiting again, inside a huge gymnasium where other evacuees from the state are housed. It's getting more than a bit crowded inside, and the anxious murmurs and chatters has already risen to a crescendo, rumors about the battle that's taking place in the Avengers' Facility. May sits by the bleachers, wrapped in a blanket that a still slightly suspicious Anita has given to her. Beside her are two teenagers, both on their phones, scrolling furiously through their screens. She adjusts her position to eavesdrop on them.

"Everything is _crazy_. You know five years ago when people started turning to _dust_? Reports are saying that _they're back_! I can't believe it!"

Turned to dust? Is that what happened to her? She dusted away, faded into non-existence?

"Upstate New York is in _shambles_! Are the Avengers even there? Is _everyone_ in danger--?"

"Check out this video of the alien space ship up close! God, what the _fuck_ is happening right now--?"

"Woah, hold up! Is that... _Spider-man_?"

That shakes her out of her stupor.

"Excuse me, can I see that?"

Both teenagers face her. "Uh... Sure, I guess," one says, and he hands her his phone.

It's a shaky video that is already trending on Twitter. It is only a fifteen-second clip, taken when the user was running away from the chaos. The lens is pointed to the sky, capturing hundreds of air ships zooming around and firing at the large vessel that she had seen earlier. People are suddenly exclaiming, pointing at a tiny speck in the air that moved fluidly with a string, almost like a spider. The camera focuses for a split second, before there is a rumble and the video ends abruptly. It didn't matter, though. She'd seen what she needed to see.

She'd recognize that suit anywhere.

She barely hears the teenager's worried voice. "Woah, hey lady, are you okay?"

"I think she needs help!" May feels the phone being taken from her grasp. "Hold on, ma'am. I'll call for a medic."

It is as if the ground has crumbled beneath her. Everything is breaking apart, dissolving to ashes, and yet there is only one thing she can think of.

Peter is _alive_. He is alive, but he is fighting for his _life_. Right now he is out there, as Spider-man, trying to save the world when he didn't have to. When it wasn't his responsibility to do so.

There is a shake on her shoulders. Dazed, she looks up, and sees Anita. Her gaze is hard.

"Parker... You're Parker, right? Listen, I know you are worried about your nephew, but you can't lose it. Not now, especially when he needs you the most." She trails off, looking almost embarrassed for scolding a stranger she had called a homewrecker just hours ago. "So... So I don't know. Pull yourself together."

_"Help people?! Peter pull yourself together! You are fifteen! Do you really think I'll allow you to be this... this crime-fighting vigilante? You could get hurt, for fuck's sake you could get killed--"_

_"But who else would do it?! Who else would stand for people who cannot stand for themselves? I have the powers May, and I do not want to sit by and watch another Uncle Ben bleed by the sidewalks! I won't!"_

She makes her decision.

When the medic arrives May Parker stands up, remarkably steady on her feet.

"What can I do to help?" she says.

* * *

The news about Iron Man's death came at about 8 p.m.

May had been way too focused on giving out water bottles and blankets to the people who need them, so when someone yells "Tony Stark is dead!" she didn't quite understand it at first.

And then she realizes.

The gym, so loud and noisy, falls deathly silent, so much so that you could hear a pin drop. Only a small radio is warbling, and its words carry all around the shaken evacuees.

_"... 'The battle of Earth', which has taken place at the Avengers Facility in New York, has been speculated to be one of the most gruelling and brutal battles mankind had faced. It is believed that fighting has finally died down at about 4: 16 p.m. Meanwhile, reliable sources have confirmed that Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man, has perished in the battle after an alleged sacrifice, although any other casualties have yet to be confirmed. Stay tuned--"_

The next words are drowned out by the sound of applause, slowly at first, and then ringing, deafening, circling around the gymnasium to pay tribute to the fallen Avenger. There are cries of jubilation and commiseration, as questions of _what now?_ and _are we safe?_ are asked into the open air. The atmosphere feels unusual; people are grieving and mourning, but it seems to be an unattached kind of grief, something impersonal and far away, like foggy landscapes seen through a window. There is, however, a definite rush of relief, a collective sigh of reassurance. A promise of better things.

It sickens her.

May puts down the supplies and weaves her way through the crowd, before her nausea overtakes her entirely. She enters the considerably empty corridor and leans on the wall, wrapping her arms around her thin frame. She sniffs as the cold evening breeze starts getting to her, and suddenly she regrets not wearing her favorite coat before she got dusted. It was jewelled green, pretty and iridescent in the light, a gift from Ben. Now it is gone forever, along with her apartment, her bookshelves, her plants. In what is only seconds for her she had already lost everything. Because if Tony Stark, the man with the invincible armor, the man who she had only met once, the man Peter looked up to so much --if that man is dead, then who's to say Peter isn't? And then she's left with nothing. Nothing at all.

Tears come, and she does not bother wiping them away. She lets herself mourn, lets herself cry over her loss. The world may be saved, but it had failed her. It had failed him.

But then she hears it.

"M-May?"

Her head snaps upward, heart pounding mercilessly. Despite her blurry vision she sees a limping figure in another New York souvenir shirt by the complex's entrance. He is shaking all over, eyes bloodshot, cuts and bruises littered on his face, but at that moment she doesn't care. It doesn't matter.

"P-Peter?!" she cries out. 

_He's alive._

Her eyes well up and she runs, engulfing him in her arms, and at that moment she feels something snap inside of Peter; she feels his shoulders sag as he hugs her back even tighter. He buries his head onto her shoulder, ragged sobs wracking his body. And all that time she holds him, rubbing comforting circles on his back, like she always did when he was kid.

"M-May... I--I d-didn't know where you w-were... I t-thought... I lost...I--"

"Ssh, I know... I know..." she whispers, blinking back tears. "I know... Just let it all out.... You're safe... It's okay. It'll be okay. "

"S-sorry for making you worry," he chokes out.

"That doesn't matter now," May breathes. "You're alive. You're _safe._ That's all that matters."

They stay like that for a while, and when they break apart May places her hands on his shoulders and gazes affectionately at him. Relief floods through her system, because he is actually _here_ , living. Breathing. She sighs as she pushes back the mess that is his hair and kisses the top of his head.

"I love you," she mutters, and she can feel her eyes stinging again. "I love you so much."

Peter gives out a breathy laugh that sounds more like a whimper. "Love you, too."

She smiles tremulously, before gesturing her head towards the packed gymnasium.

"Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."

* * *

By the time she got the sleeping mats, borrowed the first aid kit, and located places for her and Peter to sleep on (she found a perfectly secluded spot by the window at the very end of the bleachers), the clock had already struck 10 pm. There is now a lull in the conversation around the gymnasium -- a certain kind of ebbing serenity -- as the evacuees begin to sleep.

"We'll find a new apartment soon," May says; she applies some antiseptic to a cotton ball and turns to Peter, who is sitting cross-legged on his makeshift blanket, head ducked to his chest. "It might be a bit hard, you know, with everyone back. but I'm sure we'll make it." She kneels down in front of him and tilts his chin with her hand. "Alright, look up, Spider."

He gazes at her flatly. "May, you don't have to do that. It'll heal on its own."

"Mmm. But it's taking a pretty long while to do so, and I will not allow you to sleep with a bust-up face. So come on. Look up."

She begins cleaning up the deep cut underneath his eye. Peter is gazing blankly at the ceiling as she continues working on him. He has not spoken a word ever since their reunion, and if May is honest, his silence frightens her. Peter had always been more than a bit talkative (and that was a severe understatement). Whenever he was passionate about something (sometimes it's the new tech he finds by the dumpster, sometimes just about his Stark Internship), he would always blabber away, often times going into extremely long tangents. May never minded, of course; she is extremely fond of the way that he rambles, fond of the curls that get askew because he had gestured so much, fond of the vivid spark in his eyes whenever he talks about the things that he loves. Despite everything he had been through, Peter is --was--- eager and bright and optimistic. And she had striven hard to keep it that way.

But at this moment the Peter in front of her is weary and worn-down. The gleam in his eyes had vanished; they are now dull, and grim. Sometimes when he thinks May is not watching she would see him clench his jaw, his eyes clouding over as he stares numbly in the distance.

May withdraws the swab of cotton from the cut. She gently places her other hand onto his cheek, and her heart cracks as Peter flinches, an almost panicked look crossing his face before he realizes what was happening.

He casts his eyes downward. "Sorry," he mumbles.

May looks at him sadly. "Peter," she says. "You know you can talk to me."

He squeezes his eyes shut, leaning towards her touch. "I know."

Oh, how May longed to take the pain away from him. He didn't deserve any of it, didn't deserve all the tears and heartbreak. He is buckling under the weight of the world that is on his shoulders. How pathetic must they be, to choose a child as their savior, only for them to discard him like a broken toy when they are done.

What an honor. What a disgrace.

But she cannot say that to him. Not now, when he is barely keeping it in. When one touch is enough to break him. So she simply pats his cheek. Tries to smile. "Right. Off to bed, Pete."

Peter nods once and lies down, tucking into his blanket. He curls up and turns his back on her. May scoots backwards, putting a hand to his hair. Kind, genteel fingers run through his curls, comforting and lulling at the same time.

Slowly May watches Peter's breathing ease, his muscles relaxing as he drifts to sleep.

She does not move from her spot. Does not remove her hand from his hair.

She stays like that for as long as she could, till her eyes start drooping, and she begins to sleep too.

* * *

She wakes up with a jolt.

May groans at the stiffness of her limbs for having sat in an uncomfortable position for so long, and she stretches her body to get her circulation back running. Groggily she glances around the darkly lit gymnasium; most of the evacuees had already gone to sleep, although she does see a few stragglers talking quietly amongst themselves. Her eyes flit towards the window and takes note of the still darkened sky; it seemed to be hours before dawn. She frowns. She did not understand what had woken her up.

And then she spots him.

Peter is sitting up, for how long she does not know. His head is bowed, face hidden in the shadows. His hands are clutching tightly at his hair. His shoulders are shaking.

Her heart sinks.

"Peter?" she whispers.

He swipes at his eyes. "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry May, I-I didn't mean to wake you up--"

"Peter--"

"It's just a d-dream. I didn't mean to--"

"Peter can we not pretend that things are fine?!" She does not know where the anger is coming but it is flaring up now, and she had to control her volume before she ends up waking the whole gymnasium. "I know what happened. I know how you left your field trip. I know that you were there at the battle this afternoon. I know you were there when Tony Stark died!" Tears of frustration fill her eyes, but she impatiently brushes them away. "That's _not fine_. _You are not fine!_ And it makes me so angry that right now, the only thing that you still could ever care about are other people! Even after you break yourself apart for them! And even then you give your _pieces_ to them! But what would be left of you, Peter? When will you _ever_ care for yourself?!"

Peter raises his head to look at her, eyes shining with tears. In a small, broken voice he says, "I failed him."

She falls silent at that. Peter digs his fingernails into his palms. His chest heaves as what sounded like a sob escapes from his lips.

"E-everytime I close my e-eyes I see Mr. Stark a-and... It was a-all my fault, May. First it was Ben...and--and now it's him. And it was all my fault."

"Oh, Peter."

When she wraps her arms around him he breaks down completely. She lets him cry, lets him grieve, even though it pains her to hear every choked breath, to feel every tremble.

"Peter, you listen to me," she says softly. "I... I wasn't there, and I m-might not know anything at all... but... It wasn't your fault. I need you to keep this in my mind. What you did... Peter you _saved the world,_ and if Ben and Tony only knew, then they would be _so proud._ So, _so proud_ \--and I know things aren't exactly looking up right now but--" Her throat tightens, but she continues-- "I'm here, Peter. I'm here."

There is silence. She hears him take deep, steadying breaths. An occasional sniff.

"I'm just...so tired."

"I know, my boy," she says soothingly. "You have to sleep. Your body needs to rest."

He shakes his head. "I don't think I can."

_"I don't want to go to sleep!"_

_The child was looking at her defiantly, eyes red from crying. It was late, and she was tired; Ben had to take an extra shift, and she was all alone. It was Ben who was a bit more experienced with this kind of thing. He was dependable, calm and reassuring. He knew how to reach to their nephew during the kid's first rough nights with them._

_Not like May._

_In what she hoped was a gentle voice, she said, "why not, sweetie?"_

_He hesitated. "Mom and dad," he whispered. "Bad dreams."_

_That stopped her short. And then something changed that night. Something about the little boy in front of her, so small and scared, made her let go of all of her misgivings. Made her sit down beside him. Run her fingers through his hair, as he blinked blearily at her from his pillow._

_"Remember that show you watched today?"_

_He nods sleepily. "I like that show," he murmurs. "I like the pretty lady's voice."_

_He had been rewinding it over and over, mesmerized at the little lullaby, of the little vampire girl and the young mother._

May inhales.

_"Let's go in the garden. You'll find something waiting,_  
_Right there where you left it, lying upside down..."_

Her singing isn't flawless, but she allows herself to do it, as she had done that long-ago night. It was a eulogy to everything they have lost. A reminder of the scars that they will forever be dealing with, not quite healed. Not quite scabbing.

But it was also an ode to the here and now. A lullaby after a nightmare. The scars prove their existence. That they'll make it through somehow.

They would move. They would find a new apartment. The world may need a new Avenger. They might want their heroes back. The earth will continue moving in a strange pace. Five years of missed moments. And yet the pace is familiar somehow.

  
_"Ever so slightly, daily and nightly--_  
_In little ways, when everything stays."_  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you have any requests for the series at all, just leave a comment here! Or come holler at me on my tumblr @ ennas-aesthetic! I'd prefer to keep the one-shots on par with the vibe and atmosphere of the movies, though! Thank you for reading!


End file.
